Cooking - who knew it was a competition?

So, I am a pretty good cook. I am exceedingly modest too, so that should read I AM AN AWESOME COOK. Most of the time. I have had my fair share of disasters in the kitchen, but unlike others in my extended family - I learn from my mistakes.

The MIL has this thing where she makes my kids their favourite food & then sends it home with them so they can 'share with mummy'. Yeah right she is trying to beat me at my own game. My kids are not fussy, they will eat just about anything provided it has enough sugar/chocolate/combination of both, so you know when they refuse - it's pretty bad. And then, when our greedy guts horse won't eat it - you know it's not fit for human consumption. This pretty much applied to everything MIL has ever baked, made, frozen, cooked, whatever. She can even ruin packet food, which is a pretty mean feat.

My mother (who happens to be an extremely awesome cook) lives in fear of being invited for a meal to the IL's house. I live for the day when my mum gets drunk enough to tell MIL exactly what was wrong with the meal - I have witnessed something similar at another dinner party when the hostess innocently asked 'how was it?'. Mum was 3 sheets to the wind on cheap wine coolers and proceeded to give a detailed description of exactly what was wrong with the meal – I (an impressionable teenager at the time) found this hilarious, the hostess was mortified and the other diners (including the hostess’ husband) in complete agreeance.  Needless to say, we weren’t invited back again!

 Anyway, my kids are wise to the MIL’s tricks, they usually ditch the food in the garden bed on the way home (seeing as how no human or animal in its right mind will eat it) and ask mum to make PROPER food, using a recipe from a book, and not just a random procession of ingredients thrown in the mix master, beaten to within an inch of its life and baked at 5000 deg until burnt beyond all recognition & covered with any revolting concoction that involves icing sugar & alcohol & butter.  (Snarky much?  Who me?)

 So it turns out cooking is a competition & I’m winning.  How do I know?  Everyone eats my food………

Taste...do you have any?

Thanks to Miss Lyd at www.soberinanightclub.com

Rednecks

For those who know of him, Jeff Foxworthy is a pretty funny guy.  I was reminded just how funny the other day when the MIL was outside her house shouting at the FIL.  In one of his shows, Jeff often has a section "You might be a redneck if......."  One of my personal favourites is  "you might be a redneck if you wear a strapless dress with a bra that isn't".  But I was reminded of yet another you might be redneck moment when I thought I heard the MIL shout 'come move this transmission so I can take a bath!'  What she really said was ' get off the couch and come help me with this calf!'.  But it was too late, the damage was done and the association between the IL's and rednecks was made forever....
If you're interested you can listen to some of Jeff's work here.... http://www.jefffoxworthy.com/media/

Rain!

Well, it's been raining here.  Quite a lot.  So far we've gotten over 60mm, which is a great boost for us, the rivers & dams will be full until Christmas & give us green feed to get through the winter.

It's funny the sorts of things that come out in the rain & wet that we who live here pay absolutely no notice to.  We've got a young guy here at the moment, a friend of a friend from overseas.  We were treated to the sight of him running almost naked from the bathroom the other morning becuase the flying ants had invaded overnight.  WASPS!  WASPS! they'll bite me!  We hadn't even noticed them but then again, we live in Australia after all.

And also in-laws (ILS)

I have heaps of these on my computer.  I save them in the hope of sharing them with other like-minded people.  I don't always keep references of where I have saved (stolen) them from.  So if it's yours, I'm sorry.  But I really appreciate you putting it on the internet for me!

Busy Busy Busy

Sorry all my loyal followers (lol!).  Things have been a bit hectic here & I haven't had time to post over the past 3 weeks or so...

We're mustering here at the moment - so of course in the midst of proceedings the MIL has to go away & leave the men to fend for themselves....

That won't do of course, so I've been trying to run 2 households (the IL's & my own), teach school to a 6yr old, wrangle a 18 month old & keep up with my community commitments.  As you all know it can be bloody exhausting!  Some help would be appreciated but (whinge time now!) I know I'm not going to get it.  I'm just trying to keep a little bit of time for myself.  I'm a terrible gardener, but I love being outside with the kids & the animals, so we spend some time with the horses every day, me grooming them and doing their feet while the kids hunt for frogs and tadpoles in the dam.  They have a great time, enjoying the freedom of 'mum's not watching' when they end up knee deep in the mud, while I quietly look on from a few metres away, resisting the urge to shout GET OUT OF THE MUD!, focussing quietly on the nags and at the same time keeping a watchful eye on the boys.  They love it, I love it and we all head in for dinner tired, dirty & mozzie bitten, but happier and a bit less stressed.

Hopefully, now we have trucked some of the steers away, I will have a bit more time to spend at the computer and entertain you all with my angst!

Sober in a Nightclub: Two faced

Sober in a Nightclub: Two faced: Via

Bless. I'm going to get this printed on greeting cards and give them to the SIL's.